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Old 12-02-2012, 02:54 PM   #5
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FerventlyDreaming
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,648
I don't know if it was/ is as bad as what you are going through but after losing my first son and having a very complicated pregnancy with many near losses with DS I find myself very attached to him. I left him three times in the first year. Once to go to the cemetery and I was gone about a half-hour, once to try a date night that lasted about 2hrs and DH and I agreed we would have had more fun if we took him with us and once for an hour to get a hair cut.

I had to start leaving him at times when I was pregnant with DD. I would only leave him if I absolutely had to but it happened half a dozen times or so. Than I was in the hospital when I had DD for a week and barely saw him. For all of those times he did great and never cried when I left him. No separation anxiety or seemingly unnatural attachment at all.

After I was gone for the week and came back he has had a lot more anxiety. He often cries when I leave him.( we have had to for foster care training) When I first got back from leaving him for that week he would cry when I just left the room or went to the bathroom. It breaks my heart to know he thinks I might just disappear again.

All of this to say he did not seem to have any kind of unusual attachment because I kept him close. I held him for every nap, slept with him, etc. The only thing that made him anxious when I left was when I was just gone for a week and we were all in NY so he wasn't even in his own home. I think any kid would have had trouble with that.

If you feel you need help by all means get the help! But just know what you are doing is not likely doing any harm to your DD. I was/ am okay with my "over" attachment to DS and feel that if my family is happy there is nothing to worry about. That is something only you can know.
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Megan, Wife to Ron, Mommy to Ben 5-7-09, Grant 4-22-10 Abby 6-16-12 You're so beautiful to think of, but so hard to be without, E no longer in our home, always in our hearts, and Expecting July 2015
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