Re: How do I teach her to stand up for herself?
She sounds a lot like my DD. I did pretty much the same thing you are doing at around the same age. She also takes TaeKwonDo now and has attended two classes that are purely for self defense where they practice yelling, "Don't come closer. You're not my parent." She has gotten better over the years.
Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08
ISO: my lost shaker of salt