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Old 12-06-2012, 03:05 PM   #3
Kiliki's Avatar
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Formerly: kr***y
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Would it bother you if..

Could you spend some time with the kids for their Bdays maybe the week prior, or just after? Or could you ask your FIL to come the week prior or after?

I also have issues with my FIL, so I have a very difficult time sifting through my feelings to see his intentions and motives clearly, without imputing anything bad. I just can't help it. So I do understand that feeling.

But I would think this is something he is doing b/c he loves your kids. And that would make me happy. Regardless of your relationship with him, he is making an effort to be a part of your kid's lives, and that is AWESOME!

I think I might just say something kindly.... "oh! We're SO excited to see you!!! Next time, let me know in advance when you will be here so we can plan something fun okay?!"

My ILs have visited us a total of 3 times in 7 yrs, and that was after us begging them to come see the kids. They live 8 hrs away. So despite all the issues I have with them, I would probably fall over with heart palpitations if they called to say they were coming without us having to beg them to do so.

It's hard to put your feelings aside, I know. But try to look at the great effort he is making to be involved. That is something to be happy about, even if it IS an inconvenience.
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