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Old 12-06-2012, 03:12 PM   #13
threelittlehoneys's Avatar
formerly R***and**********
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 7,080
Originally Posted by HeatherlovesCDs
It wouldn't bother me at all. In our family, birthdays aren't meant to be spent with just your parents and siblings. It's a whole family thing. I struggle to not let it upset me when the grandparents schedule something around their birthday that ends up being a clear conflict or they just decide not to come because it's a long drive. But, that is how I grew up. We all celebrate birthdays and holidays. Everyone is always invited, even for an extended stay if they are from out of town. No one needs a formal invite for that kind of thing or for anything really.

I can see it being different though because he stays for a week. But, even so, in our family we wouldn't wait for an invite for a week long stay. We would call and say, "I want to come X week (whoever's b-day or Mother's/Father's Day or whatever) are you free that week?" We invite ourselves and we would assume if they were free it would be totally fine. And, in our family it would be totally fine.

My husband's family is a little different and sometimes it causes problems for us because we don't assume we need to actually formally invite them to things. Oops!!

Bottom line to me, I think it's what you are used to. Some people are going to agree with you that it's rude and others, like me, aren't.

As for not being able to go anywhere, I would tell him you are planning to do X and he needs to rent a car to come along if you don't have another car. I wouldn't let him not having a car and not having space stop me from going somewhere for my kid's b-day if that was what we wanted to do. Or, do something out of the house the week before or after.

Sorry he is upsetting you. Good luck!
You are totally right. And the thing is I probably wouldn't be mad if it was anyone else. When we lived w fil years ago he was very assuming about a lot of things and I saw him as intrusive into our lives. It's really just a problem I have w FIL that I don't exactly know how to define

Dh is saying the same thing about us being able to go out w her. I thought he wouldn't want to leave them but he's saying to just plan and let them know we dont have car space for everyone

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