Thanks so much for all the responses! Dh and I talked last night and came to an agreement. Visits on their birthdays is fine this year, and dh is going to talk to his dad about it being a bi yearly thing. So every other year well have the kids bdays for just our family, starting next year, and I can live with that!
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~starting to receive squares and just want to say THANK YOU~ to all you awesome mamas!~