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Old 12-08-2012, 09:24 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by juclark77 View Post
It sound like she has developed an "insecure attachment." There are strategies for dealing with this. You could try googling it. I think Parenting the Hurt Child by Keck might be where I read about how to make it less severe. Attaching in Adoption might be another book to look in.

Here is a link that might be useful. Look particularly at the section Symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder.
Oh wow. I looked at that link and so many of the symptoms of RAD are exactly what I was trying to find words for. I can fix this right?

frequent, out-of-control tantrums. Unusually defiant and disobedient. Flies into a rage for the least little thing. Deliberately soils in inappropriate places. Destructive of property. Normal methods of discipline are ineffective.
the velcro kid, unwilling to be separated from Mom for any time at all. Cries incessantly when parted, insists on keeping Mom in sight at all times. Scared to go to sleep alone at night, and wakes in the night to check on whether Mom is there.
needs to control Mom at all times.This can be achieved in many ways:
abnormally active toddler, constantly on the go. This risk-taking hyperactivity is intended to keep her constantly vigilant and at his side. A nightmare to take shopping, to a restaurant etc
disruptive when Mom is on the phone or talking to other adults, very jealous of attention to other siblings. Will whine, cling, hit, chatter, to monopolize Mom's attention - again, insecure or anxious attachment.
refuses to cooperate or excessively demanding with eating, going to the toilet, dressing etc. Refuses to eat meals or most foods. Demands food or drink frequently, wants Mom to accompany bathroom visits, wipe and wash hands, etc.
inability to play alone, insists that mother or other family member plays or interacts with him or her at all times
demands affection on his or her terms - asks repeatedly for hugs, tells Mom, I love you endlessly.
persistent nonsense chatter

All of this to varying degrees. Even the tantrums. It went on for two weeks, out of control tantrums. I finally got them to stop by witholding our special time together as a consequence.
Thrifty, homeschooling Mama to 5, 14 yr old K 9 yr old E 4 yr old B , our lil' man 2 yr old H and our newly adopted little princess J Forever missing our foster children J, M, L, L D, & E
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