12-09-2012, 05:11 PM
Join Date: Feb 2009
Re: Help me love this!
We are going to bail out.
We had a big talk with FIL last week to try to get on the same page. He wants us to give him a set "rent" each month. I asked him if he intends then to fix the house up so it is more livable for us. He said, no, he feels its fair based on the condition of the house as is. Any home-improvement projects need to come out of our own pocket.
Ladies, we are in ONE bedroom right now. Yep, all six of us. Its the only one with decent flooring and (partially) finished walls (box elders still getting in!). Many rooms are missing light fixtures and need sheet rock, only one has heat (we are using portable electric heaters right now). Its COLD. I told I wasn't comfortable with paying "rent" for a home without adequate heat and at least finished walls! He replied, "Well if its finished I could get two or three times that much per month." Believe me, I have researched housing in the area, and there is no way he could get that. He'd have to put tens of thousands into this house to get anything near what he thinks it would be worth. Its totally unrentable in its current condition. I told him this (as politely as possible!) and he still insists it is. I think he's crazy - but simply said, "Well we'll just have to agree to disagree on this point."
DH then told him that we may look into moving closer to the city because with us having to pay him rent and the long commute it won't really be worth it for us to stay here. We'll never get ahead. His response, "Well, do what you have to do, but while you are here I still need my ______ per month."
I now believe he just wanted us here to bail him out of his financial problems. SIL said that FIL is horrible at managing money. I didn't know that. I feel really misled as to what we thought his intentions were (based on what he said then!) and what they actually are. He just said, "Well I guess we should have talked about it a little more."
So yeah, with money pressures, bugs, mold, cold, clutter...its soooo NOT worth it. I'm outta here. We've been looking at other rentals with property but they would really stretch our budget and if I have learned anything this last three months its that family time takes the highest priority. I can't raise these kids by myself, I need my DH more than I need chickens or a milk cow or a garden, and so do the kids. I admit, that may not be true for everyone - its just true for me and my kids. So I think we will try to find an affordable place very close to DH's work, get the kids enrolled in school and try to find our own simple life. This one is definitely NOT what I am looking for.
Babymooning with my sweet Kai Zachariah
who arrived November 17 2013 ~ 9lbs 3 oz
My 4th VBA2C ~ Born all natural in the water!