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Old 12-13-2012, 05:12 AM   #1
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Lanasmom
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Belton, SC
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Suggestions for 4 year old behavior problems

DD is 4, will be 5 in April. We are having some serious behavior issues with her at school and at home. She is defiant. At school she has been known to 1) hit or kick "because she wanted to",2) she screams at her friends, teacher and brother, and 3) she flat out refuses to obey. Usually she only chooses one of the above 3 categories to do per day. Then sometimes she is just an absolute doll and helpful and well behaved.

We are a family who will not tolerate misbehavior especially the hitting, kicking, pinching and screaming. There are ALWAYS consequences but none of our consequences seem to affect her. We do spank, but soon realized that it did not curb her behavior. She doesn't care and in fact laughs at us most of the time. Next we tried taking her favorite blankie and her dolls and toys. She didn't care about that either. So the past two nights she has come home from school and had to spend the rest of the evening until bed time in her room by herself. That didn't seem to curb her behavior either.

Her daddy and I had a talk with her and told her that if she didn't behave today and tomorrow at school then the presents she gets to open this weekend (we are celebrating with my family this weekend) became ours until she could obey. She looked at us with a smirk and said "Well you'll just give them to me later anyway." Needless to say that made us very angry.

She has been told that if she isn't good today and tomorrow and next week at school then there will be no presents from us, grandparents or Santa. She understands but is testing us. She doesn't think we will follow through. She just smirks at us when we remind her what her behavior should be and how she can make sure she gets Christmas.

So my question is this....How do I convince her we're serious before it is too late? And if she does make me follow through, How do I go about letting her earn her presents back?


This is all made worse by the fact that her 2 year old brother understands he is supposed to be good and he has been an ABSOLUTE ANGEL for us and his teachers in the past 2 weeks. He will be getting all of his Christmas.

BTW: We are a family who goes ALL OUT for Christmas b/c we don't do it any other time of the year!
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