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Old 12-13-2012, 08:45 AM   #2
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Location: NE Oklahoma
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Re: Suggestions for 4 year old behavior problems

I'm not sure you can convince her before hand. You may end up holding her gifts. My dd is much like yours. She is obsessed with skinny jeans but only has 2 pairs. This week she threw tantrums on Tuesday and Wednesday morning to wear them. Tuesday they both were dirty, Wednesday morning the were both in the wash. She refuses to get dressed and sits in her undies in the floor crying so I told her that whatever she has on when I am ready to leave is how she is going out the door. She kept telling me "no you won't". Tuesday she hurried at 2 minutes til time to leave and dressed and Wednesday I carried her to the car in only pants. I did wrap her in a blanket. She goes to my dad's before school so she finished dressing there. She hated every minute of it and this morning she dressed when she was supposed to. She also is not allowed to wear skinny jeans for 1 month.

I am baffled by her at times. No discipline works well for her. At school she gets smiley stickers if she is good on her daily report and comments with a sad face if she is not. She has only had 2 smileys since Nov. 1. She does just enough to keep from the smiley but does not misbehave so bad to be sent to the principal. Her dr and teacher (special services pre-k, which started out for speech) have brought up possible Oppositional defiant disorder. She is a very intense child and can be a joy but is also very exhausting to keep up with.

If you do end up holding her gifts, I would make a chart and make her earn them over the course of maybe a month? Depending on how you choose to give them back to her (all at once or divide them up). The main thing is to keep your word. With my daughter if there is any variance whatsoever in what we say vs what we do, she picks up on it immediately. I also suggest the book The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki. It discusses different temperaments and personalities and how to manage children who are harder. It gave me a better understanding of how my dd is wired which helps to head off situations with her because I am starting to be able to predict how she will act or react in different situations and can intervene before her behavior escalates.

I do know what you are going through and it isn't easy.
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