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Old 12-18-2012, 09:35 AM   #16
Carolinagirlbrisa's Avatar
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 53
Honestly, with our first, I didn't have DH's full support. When we started discussing it, at first he said "no way." While I wanted his support, I knew that me being able to birth comfortably was just as important. I had already found midwives that I completely trusted and loved, and DH came to appointments with me. They tried to answer any concerns we had, but he still didn't want it. I told him either he could support me and enjoy the experience as well, or fight me and make us both miserable. I got him to take Bradley classes with me, which helped some. We are 5 minutes away from a great hospital if something were to go wrong. During our conversations about it, he was never willing to do any research or anything to validate his arguments, while I spent hours doing research on every topic related to bone birth. I told him that if he wasn't willing to do the research and know FACTS to back up his fears, then his opinion didn't count on this topic since I had done so much and had statistics and medical reports and stuff to validate my thoughts. He decided not to fight it, but he wasn't excited about it being at home. After our first DS was born in 2008, and he was there to experience it, he now LOVES home birth and told me he wouldn't want to do it any other way. We have had 3 beautiful home births, and even after a little too much blood loss after the last one, he is still fully supportive. Now he says no hospital unless absolutely necessary! He actually has told many people who ask him how great home birth is and how safe it is. I think having a supportive husband is important, but not as important as having a knowledgable care provider that you completely trust and is primarily concerned about a happy and safe delivery. If the mom is not comfortable, then the likelihood for interventions and complications is increased, which to me, is not an acceptable trade off for a supportive husband.
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