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Old 12-20-2012, 11:41 PM   #10
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Formerly: boyfarm3
Join Date: Oct 2010
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Re: Unsupported post-partum?

I am an only child and never wanted help other than DH, but now that this is my 4th and I home school the older 2 and the other is a toddler, I am sort of panicking. DH will only have 9-10 days off (he had an unexpected surgery this year that cut into his PTO) and my in-laws live out-of-state. The arrangement we have made is that he'll take off the first week, then go in half-days in the afternoon for 2 weeks because that's when I'll need more help (with school; and the toddler naps in the afternoon). My mom does live close and is supportive, so she has offered to come help one day a week too. Honestly people have all kinds of arrangements. I have one friend who just had her second daughter and Grandma came in to take the night shift for a few weeks. Wha? That sounded really cushy to me, but I guess it all depends on who you have around you and what they are willing to offer.

Could you ask for mother's helper hours as a baby gift? Or do you have a friend who is willing to sleep on your couch for a few days? I always refused this kind of help because I pictured an outside party being there as something that would interfere with bonding. Then I got the chance to do this for a friend and my perspective changed. Basically I did the meals, laundry, dishes,dog walking, etc., which freed her up for more bonding. I know it wasn't a positive experience when relatives stayed before, just wondering if a friend might be more respectful of your boundaries?

eta: I noticed several house cleaners on groupon for my area, so you may be able to get a deal on that service. Also I am stocking the freezer.

Last edited by made4this; 12-20-2012 at 11:44 PM. Reason: eta
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