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Old 12-21-2012, 03:46 PM   #18
chandni3
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Baby paranoia after multiple losses *children mentioned

Quote:
Originally Posted by wordmama View Post
Thank you so much mamas. I am an attachment parent with all my children, but I recognize that my actions with Teagan are beyond this. It's anxiety and paranoia that grip me when we're not touching. I need to feel her breathing to be at ease. Even when we're sleeping, my hand is on her abdomen so that I can feel her breathe.

I have this morbid belief that I was never meant to actually bring home a third child. That any day now God will realize it and take her back.

I know my emotional state is damaged. I just don't know how to repair it.

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If you feel that your attachment borders on anxiety and obsession then you would know best. I think the bolded is the source of your fears and is what you need to sort out. If you can deal with this and see it as not true then it might be a big breakthrough. I don't know what your beliefs in God are but most people believe that He knows everything and that is in control so therefore he knows you have your baby and he gave her to you. I'm not quite the same as you but it took two years and a miscarriage and fertility treatments to conceive my daughter and I really thought that God would take her away too when I was pregnant. It didn't transfer to after she was born though. Good for you for seeking help, just keep searching for the right person. And maybe time too will also ease the pain you've been through and your anxiety.
Also, if you are religious, I always found the women in the Bible who suffered infertility inspiring and human. I used to think about pour Rachel who watched her sister bear child after child though she was barren. I once figured it was probably more than 8 years before she had Joseph, and we see how attached his father was to him, I'm sure his mother was even more so.

Last edited by chandni3; 12-21-2012 at 03:49 PM.
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