Re: Hospital vs. Home Birth...PLEASE HELP!!
I think your DH needs to be on board if you want to try a homebirth. If he is 100% deadset against it and feels strongly in that stance, then I don't know if you can get him to change his mind. This is a time men feel pretty vulnerable (pregnancy and especially, childbirth) and like things are out of their control and I think women should be sensitive to that. While my homebirth did not go as planned, I think after weighing the risks and benefits, it should be an option for low risk women if all are okay with it. My dh, on the other hand, is scarred from it and is so against them now for all women. That helplessness and the trauma really left an imprint on him (he can't even talk about the birth) and I can now understand that feeling that men have... the natural desire to protect, but not being able to. If birthing in a hospital/center is what eases that for a stubborn dh, then I believe a woman should honor and respect that.
If you do deliver in a hospital, would you feel comfortable leaving 6 hours after the birth? I know many women do (my sister did and she just checks her baby's temps at home as do a few friends as well). A lot of docs are fine with that anymore. Thinking of staying 7-1/2 hours in a hospital (whew, fast labors!) may ease that depression some? Or just staying 1 night and leaving first thing in the morning?
If what made the first birth great and the second one not was the hospital staff, how would you feel about hiring a doula to advocate for you? Did you have the same midwife with your last births? That might make a difference.
Best wishes to you!