Re: Hospital vs. Home Birth...PLEASE HELP!!
DH always joked he could deliver our first son (our one and only homebirth) as he's helped with lots of calves and lambs. Thank God for midwives though... having skills, equipment, and lots of birthing experience saved my son's life! Our son was a severe shoulder dystocia, needed pulled out, oxygen, and resuscitated and barely made it as it was. While dh has pulled calves from their mothers, it's a little different with your child being born vs. livestock. He is usually quick to act as well and not phased by blood and such, but was frozen in place as the trauma unfolded. Finally snapped out of it when the assistant asked him to dial 911. If it had just been he and I, our son would not be on this earth. I worry, Slingmama, if your dh can't even handle being down there while your baby is emerging, what would happen in a crisis. I would even worry if he wasn't like that with no care provider who's had extensive training, education, and work.
Anyway, like a PP mentioned; visualizing what a hb would be like and experiencing it is totally different. Sometimes it's great and sometimes it's not. I have learned by having both homebirth and hospital births, is that it is not just about the experience, but all the after part (the baby, the raising, etc). Yes, there are cool parts to each and not so cool parts/risks to each. IMO, homebirths are just that... births at home. It won't ensure that you won't experience certain things or feelings. If your dh is so deadset against one, then I'm not sure how much energy I'd spend trying to change his mind. Maybe that energy would be best used finding someone who can advocate for you, figuring out what you want to do differently with this baby (things that could have helped after your second kiddo), and coming up with a good plan for your birth.