Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.
Ok, so I'm confused. Why is not being a bridesmaid so you can focus on your newborn and family considered selfish? Once married, your husband and children should come before other relatives. Focusing on your family is not a bad thing nor is it selfish. You and your husband need to decide what is best for your family. What are you going to do if your new little one is fussy? Daddy is not always able to calm the little ones and I am sure the bride would not appreciate a screaming child in the middle of her wedding. What happens if your milk is heavier than you thought and your dress falls. I have had sippers fall on stage several times (one broke) because the dress didn't fit right...either too big or too little. I was able to cover it up a bit each time and make my way off stage really fast, but will you be able to do so if something starts to slip?
Here is a few ideas if you do decide to be a bridesmaid. You could get "clear" straps for the bra/dress. They don't hold as well, but would work for the length of a wedding. You could even double up if you felt insecure. You could also look into the "fashion" straps that are more like jewelry, but I am not sure how well those hold.
Your decision to either be a bridesmaid or not is yours and your husband's to make. Talk with your hubby and think about what is best for your family. No matter what you decide, he will be able to support you in that decision and help where needed. Good luck!