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Old 12-26-2012, 10:48 AM   #4
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3 ladybugs
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Location: New Jersey
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Re: I have a question about loss

There are bereavement groups out there. With a loss that old though she may feel out of place. I lost my DD at 5 months 5 days and there are times that I feel out of place with them. Honestly this is a taboo subject in general out there. No one wants to think of lost parents to "older" children. I think people think that this doesn't happen in this day and age.

I have 2 suggestions. 1) Encourage them to take a trip ASAP. I left town the day after DD died with my mother, step father and DH. We had nothing in mind and ended up in Lake Placid, NY on January 6th and there was no snow. Very odd! Ended up spending a couple of days going through Vermont, Massachusetts and then back here to Jersey. It gave me time to clear my head and thankfully by time I got back I wasn't pumping and dumping anymore. A BIG plus in my book.

2) She really should talk about her loss. Not on an on type talking about it. But mention it around. She probably knows people that actually have been in her shoes. DH has to former co-workers who both lost children later in life (the children were 8 and 10 I think). Sadly this is out there and it does make you feel not so alone during this process.

I am sorry to see anyone have to go through this but I hope that they are able to get back to "normal" in a reasonable amount of time.
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