I've really had to learn to let go. Not everything is clean, and sometimes I just make scrambled eggs for dinner, but it works.
For meals, keep it as simple as possible, and prep the night before. That way you can spend more time with the family than trying to make a complicated dinner. Also, prep snacks and breakfasts on the weekends.
DH and I split the kids and kitchen duty each night. Kid duty includes bath and bed for the kids as well as tidying up the toys. Kitchen duty is washing dishes and making lunches for the next day.
I've been back at work since September, and while I'm still adjusting it is getting better.
Amanda - happily married wife to N
and mother to B