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Old 12-28-2012, 11:33 AM   #28
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Re: talk to me about going from 1 kid to 2

^ Very good stuff here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geckmumto3 View Post
So, I guess my advice would be to include your daughter in the excitement and joy, but to just live life. Don't worry excessively and deal with each moment as you see best.
This for sure. I had many emotions about bringing a second child into our family, felt worried and guilty, etc. but I did my very best to not suck our son into my own mental baggage. We did special things with him to make sure he knew he was still special and the baby wasn't just taking us away, but we also didn't baby him. We treated him like the kid he was, in the situation we were in. Sometimes he has to wait because I'm doing something for his sister, and sometimes (often! haha) she has to wait while I take care of him. I include our son as much as possible, and have him help do things. I do my best to take care of all of his emotions and be understanding of this big adjustment, but he doesn't get special treatment or spoiling just because he was our first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geckmumto3 View Post
Practical advice-- Baby carrier!! Stretchy wrap and an ergo or similar. Not just around the house, but a good carrier is a lifesaver when grocery shopping or walking with two. Recognize that it is ok for your first to watch a little TV or a movie while you tend to the baby. Let things slide in the early days if you need to, and just snuggle everyone. If friends want to do something helpful ask for freezer meals, so you can easily prepare food. There will be hard days, but they will pass quickly.
Yes to all of this as well. Couldn't live without our Ergo, especially for outings. And yeah, drop the guilt about doing things to make life easier. Of course I wish that we never watched tv and our son spent the whole day playing outside and that I never gave him prepackaged snacks. But you have to let some things go, and it shouldn't be your sanity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geckmumto3 View Post
Mama, the BEST part is yet to come. Seeing siblings together is the most heart warming, amazing thing I have ever experienced. Those interactions are my most cherished memories. When your daughter speaks to and interacts with the newbie, you will wonder what you ever did without both of them.
Seriously, this is so true and it is all so amazing.

I remember almost crying when my son first came to visit us at the hospital when DD was born. He seemed mad at me, didn't really care about the baby, etc. He was tired, there were lots of people around, and it just wasn't a great visit (not terrible, but not great). It broke my heart. I wanted to snuggle with him, and he felt so BIG.

Thank goodness I suggested that my husband come back later that evening with our son for another visit, and have dinner with us. It was just the four of us, and our son was well-rested after having a nap. He wanted to sit on my lap, and he was very interested in DD. We ate dinner in my room, and put the baby in the bassinet thingy while we ate. She fussed a little bit, and he walked over to her and said, "It's okay." She fussed a bit more, and he said, "Don't cry."

Wow I almost started bawling. It was so sweet. Then he tried to share his carrots with her, haha.

Now? Even though he is a rough and tumble little boy who is loud and rambunctious, he just ADORES his sister. Watching them smile at each other, listening to the little things he says to her... it is so amazing. He looks so proud when she smiles or giggles at him. He has to kiss her goodnight. The way the two of them look at each other just shows a connection that I can't even begin to understand. I'm so glad we don't have a huge age gap, I think 2-3 years is perfect. My sister is 7 years older, and DH has an even bigger gap with his siblings. We knew we wanted them to be close.
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