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Old 12-31-2012, 01:49 PM   #24
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Re: Socially awkward?

Originally Posted by Dmpmercury View Post
My kids are also shy kids all with red hair though not striking red and we also get approached all the time because of it. I am just wondering how you work on responding with them if you don't force it. I don't force my kids either. I kind of show them how to respond by responding myself but I don't make them feel bad, call them shy or force it. They still do have trouble with it. I also don't like having to respond every single time but I do.

I see lots of signs that my oldest is getting better over time. She will never be a social butterfly but her social skills are getting better with age and she makes friends and plays appropriately. She is getting better at responding especially if it isn't a stranger and she isn't put on the spot but if it is a stranger and she is not expecting something she often won't respond. I don't think anything is wrong but other people sure do and comment on them all the time.
If someone approaches them and says hello, I'll say something like "Can you guys say hi?" if they don't, I drop it and don't make a big deal about it. My oldest has told me before that he hates going shopping because too many people talk about his hair and it makes him uncomfortable. I've explained that most people are just trying to be nice, and it's a nice thing to say hi back, but that he doesn't need to keep talking to strangers if he doesn't want to.

DH and I both have red hair as well, and were both very very reserved growing up, so I can definitely see it from my children's point of view. We just talk through it, and I validate their feelings since I don't think it's out of line for them to feel uncomfortable talking to others, but then I try to explain too that people are just trying to be nice and ways that we could be nice back to them.

They've gotten a lot better in the last year or so (talking with other kids and adults at the library, responding to the other adults and kids at playgroup) but still don't like being approached out of the blue.
Hi I'm Sara mommy to 4 little Mischief Makers
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