Re: January 2013 Chat Thread
Here visitation is based on visitation centers openings and parent's needed times. If you work or have certain unavailable times be quick to tell the CW so that they can try to accommodate your schedule when finding a visitation center. The more flexible that you can be the better as it can be hard to accomidate everyone.
As a foster parent I have a love hate when it comes to visits. It can be one of the harder parts of fostering.
Also, Hailey when it comes to adoption vs. fostering make sure you are honest and clear with what you want. You can lose placements by both being under or over eager to adopt. We had IF issues too and we went in to fostering with ideas to just foster unless the right child came along. Actually that was the worst thing we could have done. We got placements that were never going to go to adoption only. So we had a lot of kids in and out and most were not good fits. Our state will only place infants with a family that has verbalized foster only if it is known to be short term. They do not want a newborn in a foster only or only if we click with child home. Only if we click with child homes are viewed a shopping for the right kid homes and high disruption rates are feared. On the flipside, here there is no such thing as a preadopt home. if you want only adoption then they wont place with you either bc they want you to be willing to work with parents and understand that you are fostering. They want newborn in homes that are adoption minded BUT willing to work the case and understand adoption may not happen if family is found or RU happens. It took me a year to figure this out. Also you may not want to share either way that you are still hoping to get pregnant some CW won't place then bc they think that you will disrupt foster hold if you get pregnant. So be sure to discuss with your DH exactly where you stand with all this and be sure to communicate it.
This is how we ended up fostering and truly how we feel. We are an adoption minded foster home. It is known that we would like to adopt but understand there are no guarantees. We would like to help as many children as possible are our journey to building our family through fostering. We are willing to work with bparents and families and support RU whenever possible. We want to adopt only the child that truly has no one else and that needs a forever family. We never take a child that we think we may need to disrupt. Because we know exactly where we stand and have communicated it to our county agency wee get placements that are good fits for our family. I can have a newborn whenever I say that I am ready.
Christian Wife to DH married 16 years. Forever mommy to my adopted son #9 C (3 yrs) Currently fostering #20 A our bonus buddy full sibling to my adopted son (16 mths). We have fostered 20 children so far, some with medical special needs. Still hoping for a forever girl.