Re: recovery and taking care of a nb plus toddler
My dd was 4 when ds1 was born. I went it alone after dd and swore never again. A month before my ds1 was due I moved in with my mother. I stayed until I felt I was able to handle things easily without help. It was great as ds1 had birth related injuries. I knew my dd was well cared for so was able to concentrate on my nb. At 2-3 weeks post partum I went home. Ds2 I was fortunate. My husband was able to take off 3 weeks with full pay. I also had older kids to help out as well. This time I was able to stay home.
I agree with pp suggestion of freezer meals. Get help if at all possible. Even a few hours can make a lot of difference. Disposable plates, cups, and silverware saves doing dishes.