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Old 01-17-2013, 12:46 PM   #13
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MsGiggles
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ottawa, ON, formerly Vancouver, BC
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Re: Mommy preference -- What do you do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JasmineMama View Post
Both of my boys have big time mommy preference, which is generally just fine as I handle most of their needs BUT sometimes my DH will try to do something like clothe them or brush teeth or buckle a seatbelt and my boys (esp. my oldest since he can vocalize) will get very upset and cry and say "no, mommy has to do it" Normally I just do it to avoid a meltdown but last night my DH brushed DS1's teeth and then DS1 told me I had to rebrush his teeth. He was pretty upset and crying and wouldn't calm down until I took him upstairs to brush.
I try not to change my behaviour to avoid a meltdown. In my mind, that isn't teaching the kids anything except how to manipulate my behaviour. (I fully acknowledge that is hard to do, though, and sometimes I do take the easy road!)

My kids are mommy-attached, too, but when Daddy is at home and available to help than he does! If child throws a fit about it, we may first explain 'that everyone helps in this family' or 'that is rude,' but we're even more likely to say 'not appropriate!' and keep moving onwards or 'not appropriate! Go to your room if you'd like to have a fit' in as much of a sing-song voice as I can muster. Pretty quickly they get the point that whoever is right beside you will wipe your face/clip you in/help with bib, etc and they stop having a fit for it as frequently.

(FWIW when DD1 is tired or cranky, she resorts to whining for me, and I have found MUCH more success if I stick to my guns than caving because I know she's in a tough spot. She & I both have a better day when she realizes whining all day won't help her.)
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