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Old 01-18-2013, 03:13 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Kiliki

I only had PPD with my son's birth. I can remember feeling really disconnected from him, and angry with everyone. I can remember changing his diaper and looking at him and thinking that I didn't FEEL anything - he was just a baby to me, a baby whose diaper I was changing. ... and how terrible I was for that. I cried - a LOT - usually by myself.

With both of my daughters, I had the baby blues for a bit, but nothing really bad.

I am a tad concerned b/c I am having another boy this time, and I wonder if the hormones of boy vs girl are what caused the PPD?

Or if it was just a bad combo of the timing of our first son ----- we had just moved from HI to FL, DH found a job, then I got pg, then he lost that job, found another one, started school full time AND working full time, and I saw him maybe 3-4 hours PER WEEK, plus I then lived right near my family, which was difficult for me ----- and the disconnect I was feeling with DH at the time, combined with having a VERY high needs baby?

I don't know, but it kind of worries me. I've definitely had some gloomier than "normal" moments during this pregnancy, which made me think "uh-oh"...

This time I have been vocal with some close friends about my concerns. I have asked them to come check on me, spend time with me, give me a call, etc. in the weeks after birth. I've told a handful of them about my PPD after my first son, and asked for them to look out for me.

I plan to rest longer after giving birth this time. After all 3 of my previous babies, I was up and moving and doing things pretty much immediately. This time, I WILL rest longer. I've asked DH to make sure this happens. I asked him to dote on me and please insist that I rest.

Overall, my life is much different now, so I hope that will help, too. DH works full time but is no longer in school, and we live farther away from my family. (whom I love VERY much and am VERY close to, but just can't handle being so close to them)

Anyway, those are the things I am going to TRY. I won't eat my placenta, I won't stop BFing (I actually found BFing to help, personally), and I won't go to a counselor unless I start thinking of harming someone.... so those were the practical steps I could think of....

sorry this was so long
I get it. I didn't want to see a counselor either but all the natural things I tried weren't helping and I did not want antidepressants. My husband found a biblical counselor and while she hasn't dealt with ppd specifically she's been a tremendous help. I didn't want to stop breast feeding either but depression combined with weight loss it was the best decision I could make at the time. I think I had really low estrogen and weaning helped it come back to a more normal level. But try getting a dr to check your hormones while you're nursing...

My fried had ppd with her first son and not her daughters (daughter, son, daughter, son). Not sure how she's doing after her second son. I do think the different hormones play a part.
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