I'm glad this thread has branched out like it did. I hope others are able to get some help and support.
I didn't feel disconnected from DD. It was where I had to do everything I didn't want anyone else to help. If she was crying I had to take care of her. Breastfeeding didn't work out. I got sick right after I had her and I couldn't feed her while I was in the hospital on a cocktail of antibiotics. And by the time I was able to she refused no matter what I did. There was a lot of frustration and disappointment. I felt like an awful mother. There was more, but that's the jist of it. Oh and I had a terrible experience in the hospital.