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Old 01-20-2013, 01:27 PM   #17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Maine
Posts: 12,574
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Re: controling attitude and anger?

Originally Posted by BNC View Post
Gee...i never thought of comforting her! Of course I try to comfort her! I hug her, talk to her, ask her whats wrong, try to offer solutions and suggestions, explain why she cant do XY & Z. But it doesn't work. She doesn't respond. She escalates, and she escalates some more until all I can do is hide. Its that or scream at the top of my lungs, which IMO, is worse.

Obviously I'm aware that I am creating the adults they will become, and no I do not want them to act the way I do with her. Which is why I am trying (and have been trying) to correct the behavior. I always apologize and explain what mommy did wrong (which I know is damage control at the best, but its better than not owning up to it).

My husband acknowledges that its not the best parenting, but also acknowledges that there isn't much alternative. She doesn't allow for much alternative. There is no getting down on her level, reasoning with her, ignoring bad behavior, or correcting it easily with timeouts or redirection. Ive tried. ALOT. Every day I try to redirect, time out, or generally gently correct her behavior. Every day for the last 2 years (she is 3 and it didn't become much of an issue until she was over 1, but even as a tiny baby she was demanding and relentless). She didnt sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a time until she was almost 1..then she went to 2.5-3 hour lengths which she is currently still at). There were many nights each week where I walked back and forth in front of my bed for HOURS at at time with her in my mei tei and many more where I slept sitting completely upright with her in my mei tie because that was the only way I could get ANY sleep...this occurred until she was around 18 months and finally would sleep regularly in a crib.

She is in preschool. Started in September, 3 days per week for half days. Those are my favorite moments of the week.

Therapy is an option I have looked into.
Mine is 3 too. He is near impossible. No matter what you do, including giving in is met with no, tantrum, loud protest, etc. It nearly kills us each day. People who do not have one of THOSE kids has no idea where your patients go when you are not that kind of person to be bothered with it. Being told no all day, everyday, with everything makes you wanna drink....LOL!
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