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Old 01-21-2013, 07:24 PM   #7
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Re: In need of real honest advice from other SN moms!

Originally Posted by mekat View Post
In your shoes my concern would be children who requires frequent hospitalization. With you being single and a young child I image that would be very hard to handle on a frequent basis. There are plenty of kids though with medical needs that aren't in and out of the hospital a lot.

My other concern would be children with severe behavioral problems. Yes, every child needs to be loved and needs a safe home but IMO the welfare of your child should be number 1 and I wouldn't want her witnessing anything traumatizing or experience anything traumatizing. Of course there are plenty of children with behavior problems that are not severe enough to cause this type of problem.


I also would not take on a significantly complex medical child unless I knew they had private duty nursing and would be able to keep the PDN while in your care. You don't want to get into a situation where your own child is short changed because you are playing nurse on a constant basis to a foster child.
This. My feeding tube kiddo was inpatient 14 times in 2 years. My own kids definitely got short changed because I didn't ever leave him at the hospital alone. We are not taking any more kids til mine get older because it just isn't fair to them. DD missed out on swimming lessons and library story time because DS had therapy, and every little bug put him back in the hospital. So she couldn't go anywhere or do anything because our crazy visit, therapy, and doctor schedule with him. We had visits 4 nights a week at one point, and since he was medically fragile, I was required to stay in the building the entire time because no one there knew how to reinsert a G tube correctly, or how to do an NG feed.

Also remember that bios have the right to attend every therapy session, and every doc appointment. So you might have to have all EI done at DCS if they want to participate. We had to for awhile. OMG, it was awful. His mom would come in reeking of smoke, and pretend to be mom of the year, and then breeze out and leave us for the rest of the hard stuff.

I would start out with a "neurotypical" kiddo for your first placement til you get the hang of visitation (which can be daily and DCS often does not transport) and all the emotions that are involved. Then, for a second placement, try medically complex. Esp as a single mom, I would not do a medically complex kiddo for your first placement. There is a special emotional roller coaster that goes along with this. My tubie kiddo needed ST, feeding therapy, OT, 2X weekly PT and at least one, if not two or three doctors appointments for the first 2 years of his life. You also will be asked to train the parents how to care for him, and will spend an extensive amount of time with them because "Reunification is ALWAYS the Goal." It was our goal for 3 years. They sent him home for 4 months at 2.5, and even after he came back (horribly mistreated, regressed, and hadn't had his medications refilled the entire time), they STILL wanted to reunify with more parent education. We finally adopted him at 3.5 when his parents signed rights to us. He had been placed with us at 26 days old out of the NICU...supposedly "healthy."
Middle school teacher by day, super mom by night
Mommy to The Boss~2007, The Energizer Bunny~2009, and The Princess~2011
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Last edited by luvsviola; 01-21-2013 at 09:11 PM.
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