Re: Why isn't she eating?
Soy oil is "supposed" to be safe. Most babies can handle it. Most, not all. As you already know, some can handle hypo-allergenic formulas just fine (they are milk-based but very broken down) and others need something completely dairy free (like Neocate or Elecare). A lot of dairy allergic kids also have problems with soy but some don't. If an amino acid based formula doesn't work, it could be worth a try. Most doctors won't do allergy testing until later on. Our doctor won't put them through that because most allergies are outgrown by age 3.
All of your little one's symptoms scream silent reflux to me. My son's answer was Neocate and Prevacid.
Extended rear-facing, non-circ'ing mom to 3 boys - P (11), J (10), and E (4.5)