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Old 01-24-2013, 07:49 AM   #15
Melinda29
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Join Date: Aug 2008
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Re: Lying manipulative one year old....

My 14-month-old does the exact same things you are describing. I think some of it is manipulation or exaggeration, as she is definitely our most dramatic and strong-willed child. But the majority, in my opinion, is tantruming. My DD will scream, throw herself down, and point at another child or the toy they are holding--to me that doesn't mean she is trying to make me believe the child took the toy and pushed her over, but rather that she wants it and wants it NOW! Or she will start screaming and flop over when one of the kids goes to play by her--I think she is just MAD they came over, not trying to convince me that they pushed her over.

Either way, I know she understands most English, as it sounds like yours does as well, even though she can't really talk yet. We didn't start timeouts with our older kids until around 18 months, but with this one we have been treating her tantrums like the older kids' tantrums. I say, "You are mad because ______, but you are not allowed to scream and cry about it. Go to your room (or any nearby room) until you calm down". She wll typically launch into an epic tantrum after the door is closed, but will calm after a few minutes. Then I go in and say, "You were in timeout for screaming. No screaming. Apologize to (whoever got screamed at, usually me)". She will give a hug and we move on.

The behavior has definitely decreased since we started doing timeouts for it. It's like she hit the Terrible Two's at 9 months. She has full-blown baby tantrums like I have never seen before in an infant--just like her siblings did at 2/3 years. But she is not hungry, hurt, wet, or tired--I checked all that when she started doing this a few months ago. She is just mad.

Anyway, like I said, my DD does everything you describe your DD doing, and I think it most likely frustration rather than manipulation.

ETA: My sister's son also had baby tantrums starting at 6 months, although her other kids didn't, so it's nice to hear we aren't the only ones . She actually did timeouts starting at 9 months old (once she figured out what was going on and he wasn't sick or hurt or anything). The behavior was virtually gone by his first birthday, BUT whenever she slacks about dealing with it the first time, he will revert back to screaming when he is frustrated and it takes him a few weeks to relearn how to stay calm. He is 5.5 now and still tantrums/screams worse than any child I have ever known, unless she stays on top of him about it (with consequences or rewards). Then he is the sweetest, calmest child

Last edited by Melinda29; 01-24-2013 at 08:10 AM.
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