Re: It's SO much money...
I'm in the same boat. We're choosing a homebirth, paying out of pocket, when our insurance would cover a hospital birth 100%. Our midwife will be receiving payments after our birth still because we don't have it all up front. It is a big bill I wish we didn't have to pay but it's sooo worth it to me to have the relaxed birth I want.
My last birth was a homebirth as well and I wouldn't have it any other way! If its what you really want you won't regret how much you pay for it