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Old 01-25-2013, 06:02 AM   #65
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Re: Five days ago my daughter requested a hair cut...

Originally Posted by iris0110 View Post
Yes I hate that she controlled my hair requiring me to spend hours washing and caring for it when I didn't want it. I was always "that girl with the long hair", but that wasn't who I was. I couldn't be anyone else because my mother wanted to live out some ideal image of feminine beauty through me. I was hot and miserable and I hated my hair but she didn't care how I felt about it she only cared that the hair stayed. My hair never matched my image of myself and there was nothing I could do about it. I simply wanted the same freedom every other person had, to change my hair.

My sons are occasionally confused for girls. I suppose by your argument I should force them to keep their hair short so that never happens. It would certainly be easier to keep up their hair if I just shaved their heads though to be honest Kearnan is confused for a girl even with short hair. I would rather risk the very small chance that Kearnan will look back and say "why did you let me look like a girl?" when I can answer "Because you wanted to wear your hair that way and I was honoring your wishes." I have dealt with a child heartbroken because he didn't want his hair cut short, I've dealt with the screaming at the hair salon. I just don't think it is worth it nor do I truly believe either of my boys are going to be upset that I let them wear their hair the way they wanted to when they were children. I have spoken to far too many people who felt the opposite, resentful towards their parents for not letting them express themselves as children. As for clothes I'm pretty lenient about those too. My youngest frequently wears girls clothes because that is what he likes. I don't buy things with Angry Birds, Sponge Bob or really obnoxious sayings/curse words on them but other than that they are pretty much free to choose their own clothes. I don't think it has ever occurred to them to sag their pants but since we are a punk/nerd house it probably won't happen.
Very interesting! My DH insists on buzzing the boys' hair until they are old enough to pay for a haircut if they want it. So they are stuck too. We have rules for clothes as well (as we did as children as well). I'm more than happy to let them express themselves through music and art and crafts and all that wonderful stuff and also within the limits of our boundaries on their person (through styles of clothes... certain decades, whatever, as long as modesty is maintained) while in our house. If they want short/long hair or tattoos or piercings when they move out, then they are free to do so! They will be adults then and it will be totally upto them.
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