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Old 01-26-2013, 11:30 PM   #14
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These poor LOs can't be compared to kids with a normal upbringing. Its not that they don't care its just all mixed up inside. Definitely look for a kids therapist specializing in attachment disorder. For some reading material check out parenting the hurt child. There are other good ones if you search this forum I can't think of any others. Google reactive attachment disorder. Everything will look very familiar. there are exercises and techniques for handling kids who have been affected.this way by trauma in their lives. Maybe even exposure to drugs or alcohol in utero has affected the way their brains process things.

But for sure you aren't failing as a mom because of this. You can't develop a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to do that. Its really hard to understand for someone who had developed normally but its good that you recognized that you need help. Its not a lost cause. You did an amazing thing by taking these kids in and its not easy I'm sure but if you find help it could turn out great.
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
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