01-27-2013, 12:28 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Currently MO; but wherever the Marines send us. SoCal at heart.
Please tell me Im not alone...
My Dh is a great husband and father. He helps me when I ask, he doesn't complain hardly ever. There is one thing I cannot stand. When I am nursing, the nursing child can only ever be comforted by me. As in, baby is fussy and he doesn't do anything because 'she just wants you'. It's his cop-out.
Now, that may be so. I'm not saying its not true. But, she has been taught by him that he cannot (read: will not) comfort her when she is upset. I should mention, he isn't neglectful when she's hurt or needs to be held or whatever and they play fine when she's happy. It's just that when she is tired, crabby, crying-- just being an 18 month old-- he is very hands off. I will tell him I think he needs to try harder and he says no. It won't work. I've told him ideas and ways to comfort her and every time he actually does it, it works. I don't get why he won't listen to me. He will literally pick her up and stand there, doing nothing, and she will scream until I can get her. Let me say, I don't think I coddle her. I will not 'rescue' her from her father. He is more than capable of comforting her but because he doesn't try, she hasn't learned and she wants nothing to do with him when she's unhappy. I usually finish what I'm doing (dishes, laundry, etc) then take her and put her down for her nap or whatever but I don't interfere until I'm finished with my stuff.
I know it's normal for kiddos to have preferences sometimes. But it's frustrating to me that after four kids (and years of nursing) and all these years as a parent he is using this is an excuse to not have to work at figuring out her needs and how he can comfort her because it frustrates him. It's easier to hand her to me so he can watch tv.
Thanks for reading. I guess I'm just frustrated.
Hi, I'm Brittney
Wife to one amazing man.
Mom to FOUR amazing blessings.
***IDSO Salt Water Sandals- White, Toddler 7***
Last edited by mommabritt; 01-27-2013 at 12:48 PM.