Re: I need help, bonding with children that are no babies
I haven't BTDT but I would agree therapy would be a good place to start. Maybe first by yourself, then as a family.
A friend just adopted an almost 4 year old and its been 3/4 months and the little girl is still not 100% bonded to their family. But, they have pretty much become hermits. They only go to the most important special occasion events for the older kids and church. Other than that they stay home & bond...FORCING the kids to learn the family routine and way to follow the rules and be a part of the family.
As far as bonding, part of it is going to be a softening of your heart. At some point there has to be a wall that you've put up to not love them the same as your own kids.