Re: Am I terrible because...
I don't blame you.
There is a huge part of me that wants to the home birth/water birth.
I've had 2 epi's and 2 no epi births. I loved all of them, but I didn't like the state of mind I was in during my non epi births. KWIM? I was out of control. I don't handle pain well, and I have extremely fast labors that I had no adjustment period and just freaked out.
I've been going back and forth whether I want an epi or natural again for next time.