Oh, momma! I feel your pain! I just recently dealt with my 1st hemorrhoid and it was excruciating! What finally worked for me was laying on my side, and switching sides every 20-30 mins, soaking in epsom salts and applying a COLD poultice of witch hazel after the bath, then after 20 mins applying prep H cooling gel. By the next day I could walk again, but it took a week or so before I didn't notice it any longer.
Daughter of the Risen King, Loving wife to Joe,
Homeschooling mom to A- '01, M- '05, E- '08 and G born 3/5/13 VBA3C
Always missing my 17 weeker E 7/25/11