[luvsviola]

Hugs mama. My son is 3 and wouldn't know his mom on the street. We have been very open that he has a tummy mommy, but she is sick (she is also an addict) and couldn't take care of him, so he became part of our family. We've kept it very simple. We just say that we aren't sure where she is, but maybe someday when she is better, she will be able to come see him. It is just part of our everyday conversations that he is super lucky he has two mommies and two daddies--there are lots of people that love him. Our therapist has been adamant that DH talk with him about it (it makes DH really uncomfortable) so he sees that it is ok to talk about with us, and that we are comfortable with it, so he is "safe" to be comfortable with it. He came to live with us at 26 days old, but was a DCS case with a failed reunification with bio dad at 2.5 (came back 4 months later abused and completely regressed).

Good luck with telling him. I wouldn't wait long. I had a student in class that found out at 13 that who she thought was her father, wasn't, and she was a mess. Eventually, she had to be put in the stress center over it when she became suicidal. She felt betrayed and her sense of "self" was destroyed. Her mom just didn't think it was a big deal, but to the kiddo, it was massively huge.