02-01-2013, 12:45 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
Honestly, it is our social stigma's that hinders breastfeeding. Our society views womens breasts as a sexual part of the body and that is NOT why women have breasts. Women have breasts to breastfeed babies. If our society actually viewed breasts as the body part and function they are, then we wouldn't have the "ewww, that's gross" or "I don't want my breasts to change b/c of it" or "I feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public" type of responses. I think it is unbelievable that so many individuals believe that women should not breastfeed in public. To shame a woman and her baby to the bathroom to feed is absolutely appalling.
To be honest, I do wish more women would breastfeed and not have the "well, I'll try and see what happens" type attitude. I don't have statistics, but I'm willing to bet that the majority with that attitude fail at it. Mainly b/c it isn't important enough to them to do what it takes to make it work. Then majority of those who fail the first time will continue to fail or won't even try it with future babies. I was one of those with that attitude with my first child. I had that attitude b/c I fell victim to society's stigma regarding breastfeeding. It was entirely my fault and I should have stood up for myself and my child, but it was so easy to fall into it. I didn't have enough close friends who were willing to advocate for breastfeeding.
I did try with my first and I failed. I did reach out to a lactation consultant which I realized later on wasn't an IBCLC and this lc didn't even have bf herself. How can she be a lc without never having gone through it?!?!?! I thought I wasn't producing enough milk. However, if dd1 would have been latched on correctly, then I would have. I thought she was, but now after having bf 3 more I know that she wasn't even remotely close to stimulating my milk production. She was always crying b/c the poor thing was hungry b/c she wasn't getting enough milk. Since she was latching incorrectly, my nipples were beyond sore....they were majorly cracked and bleeding. I gave up after 3 weeks.
I think many people give up for certain reasons, but there most likely was a reason why it wasn't working. Having a supportive society, suppotive peer group, supportive family, supportive dh, and most importantly the oppurtunity to reach out to IBCLC's is crucial. I had horrible guilt about not nursing dd1 and had it even worse when I realized why it didn't work. I could have done something about it. Many people who quite have reasons of course and those who don't want to feel guilty will stick to their reasons hard core even though there is a great chance that there could have been something to make it a success. I'm not saying everyone could be a success story, there are absolutely reasons why some women can't breastfeed.
Breastfeeding is not for everyone and women should not feel pressured into it. But, there is absolutely NO denying that breastmilk isn't the perfect food for babies. It is, hands down and undeniably the perfect food for babies. I know many people who either "tried" or who didn't even want to try. And, that is completely fine. They are doing what is best for them and their family. Many, many, many people have reasons for not breastfeeding. SOme are selfish and some are vaild, but who am I to judge how they should feed their baby. It makes me wonder and left but it isn't my place. If I know someone who isn't sure and is looking for information and support then I will absolutely give it. I was able to successfully breastfeed dd2 b/c of 2 friends who were great advocates and supporters of breastfeeding. I wanted it more due to my failure with dd1 and I did everything I had to to ensure success. It was hard, it was tiring, but it was worth it for us.
I went on to bf the next 2 for almost 18 months each. The hospital where those 2 were born had a breastfeeding support group that met 2 mornings a week at the hospital. They always had plenty of IBCLC's on hand to help. I went even with my 4th b/c I still needed it. I was amazed at what I was still learning with him.
sahm to 3 little women and 1 little man
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