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Old 02-01-2013, 01:42 PM   #29
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8,155
Originally Posted by addicteddad

What does having the scream and cry in their room accomplish? Kids can understand a lot more than some people give them credit for, but not every explanation or line of reasoning is understandable. It might be about finding the line of communication that works for the appropriate age. It would seem to feed into single mindedness and selfishness to ignore their reactions or minimize their emotions by confining them to their room.
I tell DS1 not to jump on the couch. He jumps again. I tell him again and warn him of the consequence if he does it one more time. And no, we do not spank for things like this. I do not believe in a violent coercion for behavior modification. I just set a consequence I feel is appropriate at the time. He jumps again and I deal the consequence. He gets mad and starts throwing a fit. I tell him it is fine to be upset but he needs to take it to his room until he calms down. After, I go over what happened and we talk about what he should have done. Does that mean it won't happen again? I wish! But I do acknowledge his feelings. I also don't want him to break an arm or his neck. I am the parent and it's my job to keep him safe. Considering the average 4 year old is not rational and has little life experience, this means having and enforcing rules. I want him to be a welcomed and alive member of society. I'm not saying he can't understand. I am saying it is ridiculous to think that small children are capable of rationalizing and reasoning like an adult who has had years longer to mentally and emotionally mature.
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