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Old 02-01-2013, 02:50 PM   #134
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newmommy13
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparkly_vagabond View Post
newmommy
I thought international adoption was an emotional roller coaster but sheesh! You foster Momma's are my hero!
none of it is easy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by zeotwoski View Post
Sounds like everyone has a lot going on, process wise! I understand wanting to know every little detail in how things are progressing so it's not a surprise, but yet wanting to NOT know to avoid some of the roller coaster effect. It's a tough ride for sure. Having your family give the I-told-you-so attitude certainly doesn't help...hard to remember that it's an emotional ride for our extended families too, and it's one they didn't even sign up for.

I--does BM know when she's actually due? Why does "in the next 2 or 3 months" matter? Do they think she could have her act together enough by then? I wonder if grandma can pass a background check. Did she even know about J from the beginning? That's a long time not to come forward if she did, wonder what the judge would think of that. I understand how the cribs and carseats are a big deal emotionally--we had our first DFD 15 months then we were told she was coming back and I ran out and bought these two highchairs for her and DD (lost both our old highchairs in the weeks before this) and then DFD did not come back and we've never seen her again. Somehow, seeing both those new highchairs together still upsets me, especially when one is empty.

Dalynn, that is so sad that the mom's wishes just don't count. And that the aunt doesn't choose to respect mom's wishes. But sad for the family at the same time to lose what they must feel is the last bit of the mom left.
i should try to be sweeter to my mom she is very upset by all of this. her and my dad have fallen in love with J and it will be hard for them to lose him as well. thanks for pointing that out!

i believe grandma has known about them because the SW had mentioned her as being not suitable since her first home visit. she has only been coming to visits since christmas though so i wonder what changed then? other than court is coming up. maybe she didn't know about the twins until then? i think she will pass a background check just based on my quick search of our court system. the things that came up wouldn't prevent family from getting kids i don't think, but what worries me is when dad comes home from jail (for beating mom so badly in hopes that she would miscarry J btw. ) what happens when this violent criminal is in the home? also from my mad googling skillz grandpa was/is in the pen for what i don't know but if he is out and living with grandma that is not cool. i don't want him around people like that. whats to prevent his dad from losing it and beating the hell out of the kids one day?!

i decided i'm getting the car seats. my infant seat expires this year and i wanted one of these to replace it. the foster mom who has them for sale is a friend of a friend so i trust her and she is giving me a great deal. my other friend will buy the other seat from me if we don't get the twins. it will probably still be the "twins car seat" to me though.

i was feeling pretty good but now the thought of them living under the same roof with their father has me ill again.
__________________
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
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