Thread: Shy kids
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:33 AM   #6
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Re: Shy kids

Originally Posted by carriek38 View Post
There's a HUGE difference between introversion, shyness, general (or social) anxiety...and what sounds like a little legitimate fear of physically demanding situations.

Does the school have a counselor or other pupil personnel staff who could work with you to get your DD more comfortable with these situations? I don't think that forcing her to participate will do anything except become a power'd probably get further by building her investment in changing her behaviors, KWIM? And school support (or even professional support) might help you do that. B/c there are negative implications if she doesn't change, I agree with you that it's important. Does she understand that she might have to go back to PT? Does she want remediation/additional help for things like singing?

The other thing is that if she's legitimately struggling with severe shyness, introversion, anxiety, etc., an art charter school with such an emphasis on performance is just not a good fit. I love the arts, but I am NEVER going to get on stage and perform. I just can't do it. I tried chorus for a term b/c I do enjoy singing...practices were great, but a near-panic-attack before the recital did clue my mom in to that maybe not being a great outlet for me. I think I was 11. It took a lot of work, but I can do public speaking without giving away my fear and panic...that doesn't mean that it ever went away, I'm just better at hiding it. Some of that may be necessary, but it needs to be on her terms & in her time. Just because she loves music & dance doesn't mean she has to specialize in it or be a's okay to do something just for the sake of liking it & the joy it brings, as an avocational interest, even in the absence of a drive to perform.
I don't know about the counseling I'll have to ask. I am sure they do because they are big on fostering community.

She SAYS she wants to be on stage and wants to perform. We talked about it before she started school. She wasn't scared and didn't have any issues with their Christmas performance. She was actually excited about doing it. Now she didn't sing. She stood there and did the movements they were suppose to do but didn't really sing. Every once in a while you would see her lips move. Kind of like when you see the videos of the kids concerts where one is standing there picking their nose, except she wasn't picking her nose just standing there. She also didn't have any issues after, said it was fun and she liked it. She has been on stage to accept a reward- just a come up to the stage and grab it and walk off type thing. She is always excited about stuff like that. She just doesn't doing anything once she gets up there. I think she would be pretty upset if we changed schools. And one of the main reasons we chose her school was based on their food allergy policies and experience. Her regular elementary school does not even come close. And since we live in a good school district the only private schools are serious Christian based schools. DH is an atheist so that won't happen.

Her teacher does say she is quiet, but she does raise her hand and ask to go to the bathroom if she needs to, which is much better than I ever did. it takes her a while to warm up but she usually does. It took 2 years for her to go from my lap to actively playing in her playgroup. Which was part of her PT program. If it weren't for the not singing thing I would think it was based on her physical confidence and limitations. That is really where its creates the biggest problem. I'll try to get more out of her tonight. I've been thinking about putting her into her YMCA gymnastics class again. She really liked it and she had the same teacher starting with a mommy and me class and moving up to me dropping her off. She has aged out of the group, but physically her teacher wanted her in the same group one more round before moving up. her teacher would love to see her again but the age group is 2 1/2 to 4. Not a problem with the teacher but I wonder if it would make dd feel worse.
SAHM to LR 7/26/07 and IHM 10/6/10, wife to a self proclaimed genius, ex-navy guy. Going places and doing things that I always dreamed of, but never imagined I would.

Last edited by jbug_4; 02-05-2013 at 11:34 AM.
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