Re: ok this is going to sound stupid but...
I know I'm not the most religious sort, but I did have a friend that took a similar issue to her pastor. It wasn't that her husband went in for the surgery, but they found out after the first that it wasn't likely they could have any more. It was highly unlikely that he had a child at all in the first place, so they were very lucky to have the one they had. Her pastor told her that perhaps God was leading her on a different path. Perhaps God was opening her up to other options where she could do some good in the world. After that she decided to have foster children and adopted two of them last I had talked to her, which was a while ago.
Maybe it would help to open your heart to God and lay it all out there, that the situation is very trying and confusing. Maybe your desire to have a larger family has to do with another calling, as my friend's did. Maybe you just need time for your DH to come around and it's not the right time for your family yet by God's will. Then again, I've also known two men who still had children even after the surgery, so there is the chance of that too. You won't know what the future holds until you get there, but perhaps through prayer you can help find some guidance through this difficult time to find the path that God is trying to lead you to.