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Old 02-08-2013, 11:22 PM   #14
MamaWillow
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern Oregon
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Originally Posted by jenn.mcc View Post
We've tried a couple different arrangements with a cosleeper, the crib a foot or two away from our bed, and us sleeping on the floor next to his crib. In every scenario he wants to be in our bed. He likes to snuggle next to me in a certain spot and nothing else will do.

He would love to fall asleep there every night, but...
- As a couple we need to reclaim the bed, as it were
- Babe enjoys this hilarious game where he dives off furniture with the expectation someone will catch him. He is also a total sneaker (my status is an homage to him), and if he doesn't plummet loudly onto the hardwood floor it means he is tip-towing around the room in search of outlets, bathroom doors and choking hazards.
- Hubby and I are on different schedules so we can't just be in bed. Often there is only one of us here until late and we'd like to do dishes, laundry, etc.
- What happens when I'm out of town for work? I'm not sure it's totally safe for hubby to be in charge of the family bed from 8pm to 7am. KWIM?
You aren't going to like what I have to say. He misses you! You WOH and this is his tine to reconnect with you. And it's your time to reconnect with him. He is still so little. I hate the thought of a baby sad in a crib when he just wants to be close to his number one person. It's normal human behavior.

I say put him to bed in your bed. He will already feel more secure knowing he's where he wants to be and may sleep a longer stretch. Do "it" somewhere else; the couch, living room floor, baby's room, the pantry. Get creative. You don't need your bed for that.

Push the bed up against the wall so one side is safe, then either get a rail for the other side or put the mattress on the floor temporarily until he learns to get off the bed. If he's sleeping when you leave, there isn't anything to worry about right? If he wakes up in the dark it's more likely that he would cry for you rather than get off the bed and stick his fingers in the outlets in the dark.

Again, if you cab put him to sleep in your bed it might decrease his need to wake up all evening and you could get some stuff done.

Why wouldn't your DH be able to handle it? Your DS is old enough to be safe next to his daddy, if that's what you are worried about. He's not going to squish him I don't think. And it may be a really awesome bonding time for them to get to sleep together while you are out of town.

I'm saying all this because like you I fought this for years. I wanted my own bed! I wanted my kids to sleep in their own room! Finally I gave in and accepted that it's a normal, biological need to sleep with a parent. It's true, Google Kathryn dettwyler. I will try to find the link, but she's an anthropologist who wrote a paper about it. In traditional societies around the world children sleep with their parents for several years.

Once I was able to accept this, things got soooo much easier! It was peace and harmony in my house! Kids got to sleep with mama and mama stopped feeling resentful and frustrated. It's really nice now and I know that I only have a couple more years until they don't want to sleep with me. Theses years will go by quickly. Cherish it.
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Rachel, SAHM to a 9yo teenager , a 4yo charmer , and a toddling koala bear , and wife to my hard-working hubs. Mostly AP, co-sleeping (with all 3!), BFing, quite crunchy, thrifty, curly-haired mama. Loving my life.
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