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Old 02-09-2013, 05:01 PM   #13
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Location: Southern Oregon
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Re: Defiant little girl...I have to tell my friend that her DD can't play with DS any

Guess I can't multi quote but I can quote. I know, I should have never allowed them to play in the bedroom. I am totally not used to kids doing stuff like that, my kids and other friends play all over the house and do fine. Never an issue. I guess I just got busy or distracted whenever they (the parents too) were over. Seems like if the parents know the kid is destructive they should watch her more closely. All but the hammer incident happened when the parents were also there. The hole in the wall and the cushion with the knitting needle was right in front of her mother who did nothing. I finally took it away.

You are right, I have been afraid to overstep. I've never had parents at my house who weren't disciplining their own kid so it never has been an issue. I guess I need to grow some and just do it.

Originally Posted by Leanbh View Post
I'm kinda confused too as if you realize she is destructive, even the first time then I'm wondering why she has been left alone at all in your home?

I'm trying to figure out if rosie and your DS are around 3 or 4 are they allowed to play in the bedroom themselves(buckwheat incident) or in a play room by themselves. Just trying to picture it. My home is very open so I can see the younger kids play, but maybe you can't if you step away to the kitchen or bathroom of course.

When your kids are young you are afraid to overstep the discipline thing with others kids. But the answer is pretty just let them know what YOUR house rules are. So after a bit they will quickly realize what is allowed or not. Then you say....We don't hit in the house.....We don't use potty mouth in this house.....We clean up our mess etc....that way you aren't taking over disciplining their child, just stating what the rules are in your home. I even do this with the older kids(8,9) who come over and say words like butt, stupid, dumb etc.....I tell them we have a 3 year old and I don't want him learning those words, so no potty/bad talk when in my house. All us neighbors by now have no problem telling each others kids what is right or wrong as after 4 years or so of playing you get more comfortable and know the kids.

On the other hand I have had a family member with kids the same age who were destructive and the kids would argue, destroy things etc. I REALLY distanced myself as it was just too much, for about 2 years and life get's busy when they start school etc. Now that they are older(7-9) they all play much much better, so sometimes it's an age thing too.
Rachel, SAHM to a 9yo teenager , a 4yo charmer , and a toddling koala bear , and wife to my hard-working hubs. Mostly AP, co-sleeping (with all 3!), BFing, quite crunchy, thrifty, curly-haired mama. Loving my life.
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