Thanks for the warm words. I have been talking to someone. But I was glad to share here. No one really understands unless they are a mom too. All these kind words from everyone have really helped. I don't feel so alone.
On a good note, I did stop taking my bc pills which were majorly contributing to my really bad moods. Psych pills are off the table. I have been feeling more and more like a whole woman and mother again. I really hope a new baby is in the future.
Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest of these are might have been.