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Old 08-20-2007, 11:25 AM   #22
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Location: Chicago, IL
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

Originally Posted by faerybugmady View Post

For me, I absolutely positively did not want anyone NEAR my home after the birth of either child. I am very much inclined to overdo things and be cranky and tired but I also want things done MY WAY. I'd stress myself out over someone being in my house doing things their way or trying to do it my way and messing up. I'm too much of a control freak to let someone help like that. However, the hardest things for me during the first month is cooking and housework. I enjoy the laundry and I enjoy the errand-running(though I might not with 3 kids this time!). But the hardest things are cooking and housework because the littlest needs to be held so much and nursed so much. And help with the older kids would be nice. Getting them out at least once a week to burn energy at the playground or doing a fun activity would be REALLY helpful. I'm counting on my in-laws to do that after the baby is born because I can't stand having them in my home messing things up but they are great for hanging out with my kids and giving me a break. That will give me the freedom to wrap the baby or sling the baby and get things done. Sounds like I'm saying they aren't good enough to be in my home. I dont' mean tthat at all, in fact I just mean that I don't want anyone in my home while I'm bleeding like crazy, learning to nurse a newborn all over again, dealing with engorgement and leaks, and the baby blues. I just want to be alone to figure things out by myself.
mama, i so hear you on this. i actually don't consider myself to be a control freak at all, but maybe i am just a little?

my mom barely cooked anything, and what she did, it was stuff that i didn't normally eat (or want) and she gave my husband twice the portions she gave me.

she did laundry to "help" and even though i told her what detergent to use, she used my brothers' detergent. my husband is highly allergic to it, and ended up in the doctor's office with a full body rash that we couldn't get rid of. finally i asked my mom what detergent she used, and she says, "oooh well i just wanted to save your guys' detergent....i'm so sorry!". WHY can't you follow a simple request??

when i would finally ask her to please get me some breakfast cause i was staaaaaaaarving from nursing and so much blood loss, she would bring me a bowl of cereal, no fruit in it or anything, with like a splash of milk. once again, . i always always had to ask for food. she would bring me for lunch.....a sandwich. turkey, cheese, bread. that's it. i finally had to say, "you know mom, this isn't a meal. this is a snack!" i would look over, and her plate would have other stuff on it.

ugh, these are just a couple of examples. she's a really great person, i love her to death, but when it comes to actually HELPING, she's just not that great. i think she looked at it as an opportunity to not wait on my dad hand and foot. but i really needed the help.

i don't know how to avoid the same thing happening this time!
Wife to Tyler. Mama to Jack, Oliver, Augustus and Leona Violet, brand new.
Part time Social Worker, Part time College Instructor, Full time Happy/Exhausted.
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