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Old 02-14-2013, 07:20 AM   #20
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 615
Re: Drinking in your family

Do you have a support system around you like a church or family. I agree that he won't change until he decides he's ready. I actually have a mom friend that struggled with drinking to numb the problems. To me it's not much different than being obese and trying to numb your problems with food. It's not something I'd split up a family for. My dad drank a lot when we were too young to remember. I think he stopped when I was just over 3 and he started going to church. My mom never said a word to him about it because my dad's a strong personality and back then he had a hot temper. She knew he would have left. For years after he slowed down he'd drink 1 or 2 beers several nights a week but never more than 2. When my sis and I were grown and moved out he upped his limit to 3 but that's still not drinking to get drunk for him and its not every night. As your daughter gets older and more aware if he's drunk I'd go to friends or family's house when he's like that. I'd be honest and say that you didn't want her to remember seeing him that way and you'll be somewhere else for the night. That way you aren't requiring him to change but only doing what is best for you and your daughter during that time. Also, if you are religious I'd suggest prayer. I say if he's not really hurting anyone but himself and he's not getting behind the wheel I wouldn't push too hard. Deep down there's probably something bigger that's bothering him. Also, Celebrate Recovery is a great program and most of the sites have childcare. You could start going yourself to learn how to be a good support for him.
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