Re: Toddler Tantrums - need help :(
I haven't experienced this with my own DD yet, but my gut would be that if she can't behave when it's time to leave there, then we won't go there. So, saying she is big enough to be able to attend, but that comes with the responsibility of being gentle when going (I would help with shoes, etc if she is not tantruming). Follow it up with reminders at drop off. Greeting her with a hug & a reminder that we're going to be a big girl so we can come back. And if the tantrum starts, I'd say, OK we can't come back next time and I'd scoop her up & out to the car like doodah suggested - probably telling the teachers as I went that DD won't be back next class because she couldn't behave.
I might even show up at the start of the next one, but not let her get out. "Oh! I just remembered. You threw a tantrum last time, I guess we can't go." This type of thing usually nips things in the butt quickly for my DD.
....but I was thinking this was like preschool, and with daycare I'm guessing you don't have many options to try that. Unless you set it up on Friday then pretended Saturday was a normal daycare day and didn't take her then?
Alternatively, is there a time-out space you could put her in as soon as she tantrums - then you could go chat with other parents/kids and enjoy a couple minutes of conversation while your daughter calms down? Something where she isn't getting her way and isn't getting attention either?
A (usually) happy wife mama to my BOGO girls, DD1 July 2010 and DD2 Dec 2011.