I think my problem is that on some level I don't feel I have a right to make any requests of this person as they're not my family but dh's family. Granted everyone's 'our' family but I'm sure you get my point.
I want hubby to make the request and feel it would go over better, but I don't think he's taking my concerns seriously. I don't want to cause a huge family rift either. But neither do I want to have my child bathed in nicotine and smoke ~6-12 days out of every month. Granted its usually more on the low side of that.
If I made a request like you did, it would likely result in this person removing themselves from our lives at least for a time rather than complying. Actually don't ever see them complying. Ugh, the things I never thought I'd dread about having a child! Just stuff I'd never thought about.