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Old 02-21-2013, 01:52 PM   #1
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ajane
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ohio
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Blech. I need some advice regarding appropriate consequences

DD1 needs a consequence for recent action(s). Her and her sisters have been horribly "picking on" each other, bantering each other, and hitting/kicking each other. Now, when I say hitting or kicking it is an action, not a true hit or hard kick. But, I don't even want the action to happen. We do not spank and I will not tolerate that type of action or behavior. This morning before school DD1 and DD2 were in a confrontation.....DD2 kicked DD1 (again, not hard where it actually hurts, but the action) and then DD1 hit (same thing) DD2. DD1 KNOWS it isn't right to act back and DD2 also knows that what she did wasn't right. They got caught up in the moment and lashed out without thinking first. I know it is normal for children to do this (their ages are 9, and 2 days shy of 7), but I want them to learn that it is not ok..........no matter what.

DD2's consequence for the inital action is a cancelled play date with a friend this week. But, I need something for DD1. I really am at a loss. She has an iPod touch and that was taken away last week for something along the lines of just not being nice to her siblings. Apparently, that didn't seem to work. I don't just want to punish them, but I want them to learn and work to be a better person who can think before they act and learn to understand others.

I have thought about taking her iPod touch away for an entire month, an entire month of no play dates or sleepovers (which would be really unfortunate since this is the only month of no swimming on Fri.) Sat. sleepovers are out b/c we go to church. I don't want her to miss out on that aspect of being a kid as a consequence since she is a year round swimmer.

I thought about her cleaning the house, but don't want her to think/feel like she is Cinderella. And, I don't really see it as a consequence or learning experience. As far as taking things away? She really isn't heart set on anything. She plays with different things at different times.

I know this is all sibling related and she would never even think about doing it to anyone else, but I also don't want her to think it is ok to treat siblings like that. I told her that dh and I were going to talk and come up with a consequence for her action and her lack of thinking before acting. So, she knows that something is coming. Ok....any advice.....suggestions?
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