Re: Tell me beautiful stories
**might be triggering**
i had my first daughter with a small m/c scare early into the pregnancy...her dad and i split up when she was 3 and i eventually fell in love and moved in with who is my husband today...we had an early pregnancy that eventually we opted not to go through with. that was very difficult and trying on us both, it's hard to discuss but i feel wrong not acknowledging the life we so naively decided to give up.
about 8 years later, we became pregnant again and lost that baby at 9wks. i was broken immediately, we had a d&c and waited the prescribed cycle, only to find ourselves pregnant on the second cycle.
our son was born healthy and strong. when he was 6 months old, i surprisingly found myself pg again, only to start bleeding a few short days later, with what some refer to as a chemical pregnancy. again a few months later, i had a more established natural miscarriage that rattled our relationship and truly convinced me that i wanted another child. on our son's first birthday, we conceived our daughter and she was born on my mother's birthday and is nearly 4 years old now...we became pregnant just after her first birthday, to discover we were pregnant with twins...who are standing here next to me, pointing at all the funny smilies on the right of the box i'm posting in.
i fear every time we become pregnant, that i will lose the baby/ies...i know that often there is no reason for early losses, but i feel like since we've had three healthy pregnancies and babies in a row that should i ever become pregnant again, it will be my 'odds' to have another loss. i hate that idea...but it does not deter me from hoping for another sweet life to hold and bring into the world.
becky. no vax, no circ, extended bf'ing, babywearing, homebirthing multiples mama to: m
(2/14/11) and l
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